i dont know where my life is leading to anymore...w8..i dont think i ever know wer it was leading to....what if all that we believe our whole mind, soul, body, etc. isnt real?...lyk we think somin and have a firm belive in it and find out it was just pointless to belive in it in the 1st place cuz all we wer beliven in was basically a bedtime story...whats up with love..i h8 it cuz it h8s me...itz lyk the mst difficult and challenging thig God ever created..what's the point of it...i dont think i know what im saying anymore....i dont think i know what im living anymore..i thot i was livin this happy carefree life..now all this complic8d bullshit comes in and i dont know how to deal wit all of it..i wna turn back the fuckin hands of time and hit myself in the head for all the s2pid hings ive done..for all the lies i belived in...for all the people who i allwd to hurt me...for the times i shudv gotn back at people to hurt them..this is startin to sound lyk a poem now..for all the times i shouldv done somthin but didnt and now terribly forget..err...regret not doing.....hit myself for stayn alive....hit myself for dying to me..dying to you...dying to the world....resurrect and start over again..start this vicious cycle of a cruel life...a cruel existance....thank you to those who keep me alive..thatnk you to those who i stay alive for..thank you for those who i love but they dont love me back.....thank you for those who do...who do love me.......this is probly my most fucked up entry...i dont even understand what the hell i just wrote.....i hope it means sumn.....sumn to me....sumn to those who read it........egnaro