ditching school

im not in school today...ther's this eat all u can thing at greenwich
from 11-2..haha..but thats not the only reason im absent..i gota fix
shit for college..i wana go back in time and slap myself for all the
s2pid things ive done..and id make myself save money so trying to pay
for college would be easier...rawr..ddnt thing stuff wud be this
hard..you dont think about this shit when your a kid..my bigest problem
before was just "when's the next time im gona eat?"...i rli wana go to
cebu..idno if its to be with ym friends or to go to that school or
both..idno...s2pid....money seems to be the missing ingredient for
everything...i could save the world with money..i cud feed a nation
with money..i cud pay doctors and researchers to work the fuck faster
to find a cure for aids if i had money...i cud get married and have
kids if i had money..im not complainng tho..so stop thinkin i am
jose..and geri..im just writing shit down cuz im bored and not in
school..and someone..ehem..isnt txtn me..bye

to those who talk shit about what i do and how i do it..

i wrote this in the morning at school cuz i got bored..but i mean it..im kda rushng to type this



i hate it when people compare their relationships to mine, especially
when they dont look at their own relationships before criticizing
someone else's.. they think that their relationship is more perfect and
that everyone else's should be patterend after theirs.. they cant
accept the differences of others so the put others down to lift
themselves up and give them the feeling of total control of the other
person.. we'll every relationship is different.. each one is unique,
just as each person is unique.. if all relationships were exactly the
same, we would never find that one person that we were meant to be with
because every person would be exactly the same.. we would be better off
pairing ourselves up with rocks and dirt.. ther's more variety in that
than a whole world of people who are exactly the same...



so shut up and leave me alone...

hoorah

i wasnt feelng that great thursday night and i wasnt planning to go to
school..but i went anyway cuz i ddnt wana miss the class picture..oh
shit i forgot to giv me baby pics..annyyywaaay..so i just went for the
class pic then left after devotions..then i went to palms and slept for
like 2 r 3 hours..then when i woke up i went to brother's burger..then
go nuts..then bf and did nothing...then back to school to pick up the
carpool....when i was at school my friends suprised me (not my
classm8s)..i really wasnt expectn it=) they planned it wit my parents
nd shit...thanx guys..uh.....i went to geri's hous yesterday cuz we wer
gna go to the ac fair, which btw was prety lame and money-sucking...and
my "i wish you were beer!!" shirt was "offensive"...fuck u..your face
is offensive..s2pd ac people..haha..(not u luiza and marz and my other
friends ther)...and luiza gt mad at me..grr...dnt wna rmeber that..oh
geri was throwing a fit n the car..knda cute..and scary...and
annoying..and irritating all at the same time..i suprise myself with
how patient i can be with her..haha..crashed at bea's after..gab was
ther..we slept at like 2..i slept on my chest on the floor nd i felt
like crap in the morning..then we comuted to church and ddnt pay cuz
the driver was s2pid..and..uh....m bored now...my go wit my friend to
watch her get her belly button pierced....ill stop writing now..cya

happy birthday to me...

it's my birthday today..it was kinda s2pid..who cares..yuk im 17....i
dnt wana grow up.. i might be goin to college in cebu.. geri doenst
like the idea.. i dont really mind.. i mean i mind that she doesnt like
it but i dont mind goin to cebu.. hmm..i dont have much to blog about..
something weird happend.. i left my wallet and my money at home.. when
i got to school, ger gave me my birthday gift....a wallet with 100pesos
in it..damn..haha ..howd that happen..i gta go now..ill think of
something better to write..bbye

hi! this is bekah posting something that pen sent me and he cant do it himself cuz his multiply is messed up where he is!! Whot tha heyll! this is fun :b

stupid internet..it took so long to load the blog...i even had to ask my friend to upload this (that's you bekz!!) ..anyway... it really is my fault i huh.. dammit.. my friends hate my (ex)girlfriend and it's my fault.. if i had a problem with her before, i would bitch about it to my friends, and it gave the a bad impression of her.. and my friends think im crazy for still wanting her.. u guys say you love me and you're trying to protect me, but the shit u say abt her just cuts through me.. so what if im crazy for sayng this.. look at your lives first befor sayn stuff abt mine.. look at your relationships before sayng shit about the one that i had.. the one i seemed to complain alot abt but deep inside, was happy with.. im sori geri.. im sori my friends ha....dislike you..yeah maybe hate is too strong a word.. my s2pid mouth always gets me in trouble.. i need to learn to control it.. uhh.. i dont tell my friends enough of the good that you've done me.. i just keep telling them the bad.. dammit.. what's wrong with me.. and why cant i get over you.. why cant i just leave this all behind and move.. why does it creep up onto me more than too often.. why do i feel like i cant live without you.. shit.. to my friends: if you love someone as much as me maybe you'd understand.. im not making sense to myself anymore..haha.. im sori geri.....fook.. i can hear my friends reading this "you stupid asshole..get over her..we dont like her for u..blah blah blah"..shut the fuck up..its my life not yours..thank you for helping, but can u please stop..just on this subject.... complain abt other stuff i do if you want, but please stop it abt me and her.....we just end up fighting..uhh..ther..i hope i made my point..and if y'all r gna h8 me now cuz of this, so be it....oh and ger, jay doesnt hate you or dislike you anymore..   

maybe i shud put flowers in my shoes...or a pool of lysol

what is it that makes us wana hold on a lil longer even though it'll bring us pain to do so? what is it that keeps telling us that's its love that'll keep us through...why do we become crazy and hooked and think that everyone around us is wrong about you..love makes us stupid and blinds us to reality..but who gives a damn..i love the feeling....no one loves the pain (sept maybe emo kids) but i know deep down we all love the feeling of being loved.even if its a temporary thing..i feel like this is gettng stupid now.hehe..

partially, slightly, zoreenishly random

the events of my life now come totaly randomly..like me wanting to tel you that my feet stink from being stuck in my shoes the whole day...shes confusing..i think shes mad at me now....whenevr shes mad at me i hardly know why..whats up wt us now?i dont even know...she cut hersef the other day and said it was cuz of me..and she was showing everyone and telln them it was my fault...idno if that was to get attention or what..but she promised me she wont do it again...m afraid she still might tho..i h8 her emo-ness..alot of people do..and she needs to grow up..i dont wana be with her now if it'll hinder her from growing as a maturing 15-year-old should...i always wanted someone older..cuz theyd be more prepared and shit..but i end up getn girls younger than me..im not sayng its a bad thing tho...i wana help her..i want her to be able to find the brightside of everything..she told me that ther hasnt been a day in her life where she'd been hapy the whole day..she finds something wrong wit like everything before looking at the whole picture..she judges too quickly..dammit why am i writing this...grr..i just need to let this out..and it doesnt feel like its coming out right...owel...ill write again when im more sober..bye